Keto diet vs keto lifestyle what does that even mean? Well, I know I’ve talked about it previously. I follow the keto lifestyle. What I mean by that is I don’t see it as a diet I see it as my way of life. I am not just doing keto to lose weight but I am doing it to feel better and be healthier.
My body thanks me when I follow Keto. I feel better and I am able to live a better life because I’ve changed my eating habits. That doesn’t mean that I don’t miss certain things. But I’ve changed my lifestyle many ways over the course of my life. I went from a single lifestyle to the married lifestyle. I was a smoker now I am a non-smoker. I used to eat junk now I don’t. It is all about perspective.
I am not dieting I am changing my habits. Did you know it takes about thirty days to stop a habit and thirty days to form one? It’s about consistency. And if you don’t plan on keeping up the habit it doesn’t usually stick. That is why I don’t think of Keto as a diet. I see it as a lifestyle and my new way of life.
Habit Keto Lifestyle
I will tell you as soon as I changed the way of thinking is when I started seeing results. Diet is a word none of us like to hear. It is the dreaded four-letter word. That word actually messes with a lot of people’s heads. So I stopped using it.
So, the Keto Lifestyle is a way of life. Not a diet. Enjoy your new way of eating. Look up recipes. Eat delicious foods. And feel good about yourself. Don’t feel like your limiting yourself or denying yourself. That is certain failure.
Once you start thinking of it as your new healthier way of eating the better you will do with it. It is all a mindset.
I know from being a teen or even now that if someone tells me I can’t have something or I can’t do something — what is the first thing I want. Yep, you got it — exactly what I was told no about.
I was one of those kids. And my parents learned that quickly. My dad even told me one time when I was just starting high school that I wouldn’t graduate from there. Guess what I did. I proved him wrong. I did struggle the first two years being the rebel I was. But I ended up graduating early and also had a year’s worth of my college credits.
Diet Keto Diet
You may not be exactly like me. But all my psychology classes told me one thing if you think that you are denying yourself something that you want — you crave it even more. So that is why I am stressing that you need to change that mindset. You need to change your eating habits and your lifestyle not go on another diet.
I am making this one short but if you want more information about what Keto is — take a look into my mind a little further. And I highly recommend getting a fast start on your Keto journey to set you up with a habit-forming program Speed Keto. It will set you up for success and with the right habit from the beginning. You will see results quickly and learn about intermittent fasting. It comes with a dedicated community
The holidays are upon us but don’t panic you can still do it Keto Style. Really, you can. I know everyone on every social media platform is talking about their holiday meals, desserts, and drinks. And you are probably thinking how can I stick to Keto with all the temptation out there. But you can… You’ve got this girl.
Today, I am going to be talking about Keto dishes that will make the holidays delicious.
Add Salt and Stevia mix and stir until completely dissolved
Add remaining water and stir again
Put water into 5 gallon bucket or tub, submerge turkey and weigh down with something. I like using full gallon jug – clean of course
Cover and place in refrigerator overnight (8-12 hours) the longer the better.
Rinse turkey thoroughly with cold water and pat dry
Place half the celery & onion along with the fresh parsley, thyme, sage into the cavity of the turkey. Put the remaining in the bottom of the roasting pan
Place Turkey in the pan breast side up on the roasting rack.
Brush the turkey with half the melted ghee, sprinkle with salt, pepper, paprika, and the dried thyme
Pour 2 1/2 cup of water into the pan and place it on the lower rack of the oven. Baste every 20 minutes with the remaining ghee and juices from the bottom of the pan turning the pan 1/4 turn each time you baste and cook until internal temp is 165 F for about 2.5 hours.
Let Rest for 20 minutes. And use the juices for gravy. YUM
In a medium skillet over medium heat, melt butter. Slowly add pan drippings and broth, whisking until smooth. Bring to a boil, then add Worcestershire and garlic powder and season with salt and pepper. Reduce heat and let simmer 10 minutes.
Add xanthan gum and whisk to combine. Let simmer another 5 to 10 minutes until starting to thicken. Gravy will thicken more as it cools.
If gravy is too thick, thin with more broth as necessary. Serve warm.
Grease the sides and bottom of an 8-inch springform pan with butter. Cover bottom with foil halfway up the pan making sure no water (adding to the pan when baking) or any part is open or exposed. Set aside.
In a bowl whisk together flours, pumpkin pie spice, salt and set aside.
In a large bowl blend ricotta and pumpkin puree until well combined. Add sugar.
Add eggs whisking in one at a time.
Mix in the remaining prepared dry ingredients, and then fold in the vanilla.
ace pan in the middle of a baking pan with a 1 inch lip. Add warm water to the pan util the water reaches about ½ inch up the springform pan. Bake for about 1 hour and 15 minutes or until the center is firm (not jiggly). Remove from the oven and cool for 30 minutes. Refrigerate.
Serve with WHIPPED CREAM: In a deep bowl mix cream, sugar and vanilla with a hand blender for 2 minutes or until desired consistency.
Now just add some mashed cauliflower, a green bean casserole, stuffing and some Keto rolls and you are set for a delicious Thanksgiving. Let it not be said that we can’t eat well. Keto is actually delicious and you can make entire meals that the whole family can enjoy. Even for the holidays.
I can tell you that that cheesecake is amazing I tried it before posting this. And OMG it was delicious. I love pumpkin pie but this blew it out of the water.
Now share this with your friends or keep it a secret and feed them a Keto meal and surprise the hell out of them.
Check it out:
Speed Keto has a great Thanksgiving recipe book on their facebook group that you can get free when you purchase the speed keto program. Some of the freebies they give are worth the program cost itself. And follow my journey on Speed Keto. I try to keep you up to date with my journey here.
Top things people do wrong when doing Keto, and I am one of those people. Keto is really not a hard diet, but there is so much information out there that confuses the hell out of you.
Eat this, don’t eat that, you can have that you can’t have that. Well, I am not saying I have it all figured out but I do know how I have failed in the past and how a lot of others are failing now.
These are not going to be in any particular order so don’t worry if yours is on top or if it is on bottom
Things People do Wrong When Doing Keto
Not tracking your carbs
I know, I know, I tell you all the time that I don’t track my carbs, but that is because the majority of the time I am eating either the Keto KikStart Plan, or the Speed Keto plan and they both have it all figured out for me.
But if you are not doing either one of those plans then it is imperative that you track your carbs. Now, if you have been reading the blog religiously every week like I know you have then you probably have read my calculating macro blog. Most Ketoers do about 20 grams of carbs a day. And I know that when I’m not doing either one of the programs I do calculate my macros. But where a lot of people go wrong is that they don’t measure the food they are eating. I measure everything that I eat. And I count each separate item.
I use the carb manager and I add each individual item of food. Or I create a meal using each individual item. That way it calculates correctly. Also, another thing about the carb manager always check things like salad dressings against the labels, they are not all correct in the carb manager app.
#2 Not Eating Enough Healthy Fats
This is a hard one for a lot of people to get over. We’ve been told most of our lives that fat is the enemy. Or we hear things like I was told you are what you eat. So in my mind, I had to change that. Just because I am eating more fats doesn’t make me fat. Our bodies turn that fat into energy that we can burn easily. We don’t need the carbs for energy. Our bodies are amazing.
So how much fat should you be eating, well, once again, you should be eating according to your weight and the carb manager is really good at figuring that out. But you need to make sure you have it set to Carb tracking and track all macros. And then in the macro setting area have it on Keto setting.
But also you need to be eating good fats, like salmon, olives, avocados, coconut oil, butter and bacon, and if you do hit your fat goals add MCT oils.
Note: When starting with MCT Oil take your time getting up to the tablespoon start with 1/2 teaspoon and gradually move your way up. You will thank me for that tip. Seriously, you won’t like spending your day in the bathroom.
#3 Eating too Much Protein
Basically the Keto Diet is 5:25:70 which is 5 percent carbs, 25 percent protein and 75 percent fat. The reason being is that it is the optimum level to get you fat-adapted where you are losing weight. Also, if you overdo protein it can be turned into sugars in your bloodstream because you are not using all the energy of it up. Check out this article by the diabetes foundation. That is also why people don’t recommend diets like Atkins and other low carb diets to people with diabetes.
# 4 Eating Low-Quality Food
This is another thing I see on a regular and I’m guilty of it also. Eating processed foods. Like lunch meats, cheap canned vegetables, and sliced or pre-grated cheese.
With Keto, you have eliminated a lot of those processed foods, which is great and a great start to your diet. But I know many of you women out there start to see a stall in your weight loss or inches lost. Well, look at the packaged foods that you are eating. Grated cheese and processed cheese slices add potato starch and other things to keep them from sticking.
The meats have additives to them also, it is a great idea to get grass-fed meats and meats without the hormones in them. You will see a huge difference in your stalls and the way you feel.
And the canned foods have no nutrition to them. They have been stripped away. Look for frozen food if you want cheaper than fresh, but you still need to check your labels. Because those also add additives like corn starch and potato starch so they don’t stick and some even add sugar.
#5 Not Planning
This is where a lot of my problems come from. I am one of those daily shoppers, I hate cooking and want simple. That is one reason this page is not full of all those delicious Keto Recipes you see on other Keto blogs. Maybe one day when I get a nice kitchen to cook in but not now. Two feet of counter space is not enough to display my cooking skills.
But on to the point. Food prep is important and that is another reason I love Speed Keto. I know what I am going to eat daily. It is right there in the book. I have the recipes and the meal plan I know exactly what to get at the store.
But you can do the same thing at the beginning of the week. Even if you don’t prepare it ahead of time. Just have your daily shopping list as I do. I know what to pick up from the store each evening and I fix it when I get home from work. I know that if I don’t it’s much easier for me to slip and order a pizza and then I am miserable for a week because of it.
#6 Not Keeping Electrolytes in Check
This is another one that I hear complained about a lot online. The side effects of Keto. Which suck if you don’t keep your electrolytes in balance. And really it is a simple thing to do. And it helps with the Keto flu so much.
I get my electrolytes by drinking my water with electrolytes. I usually use Ultima which is on Amazon. (Just a quick disclosure I am an Amazon Associate so if you buy from my link I will make a small commission on that sale but it won’t cost you anything more.) I also buy one from Costco that is great it has no flavor and I can add it to my coffee.
When your electrolytes are out of balance you can suffer from things like fatigue, dizziness, headaches and a lot more. So get your electrolytes it is so worth it.
#7 Eating Too Many of the Wrong Vegetables
If you are anything like me you were raised being told to eat your vegetables that they are good for you. And in truth some are. But others are carb-heavy.
Take a look at your carb manager or look it up on the internet to find out what the carb count is. Seriously, it is worth it.
Some vegetables that are good are things like spinach, broccoli, mushrooms, celery, lettuce, cabbage, cauliflower, and green beans.
#8 Not Getting Enough Fiber
Now, this one is a pain in the butt literally. If you are not getting enough fiber you will be constipated. And that sucks. I’ve been there. So eat your greens. Foods high in fiber. Cabbage, squash and some nuts are great.
You will seriously want to hug me for reminding you to get your fiber.
#9 Artificial Sweeteners
I know you see all those low carb sweeteners out there. Well, guess what a lot of them are so bad for you and they will do the exact thing you are trying to avoid by using them. They will raise your insulin levels.
My go-to and ones that don’t raise your blood sugar are Stevia, Swerve and Monkfruit.
#10 Not Drinking Enough Water
Water the beverage of life. Really it is! Without water, you’d die. But in all seriousness, you need water more than ever when doing the Keto Diet. Why because you are not eating foods that hang onto that water. This is one of my favorite posts that I wrote on it.
Now I know most of you that are doing keto can attest when you first start it is like that is all you are doing is peeing. I am with you sister. But hear me out on this, I drink a gallon a day and it does get better. I’ve learned over the course of my research on Keto that a well-hydrated person should be peeing every hour.
Really did you gain the weight overnight? It will happen. You will lose weight. You hear all about the successes of fast weight loss on Keto. But remember are unique, your body is not that other woman’s body. Give your body time to adjust. You will get over the Keto-Flu, you will get over that stall and you will lose weight. I know you will.
Just remember your why! Each time I stumble I go back to that and remember I am doing it for my health and well-being find your why and stick to it. And remember if you need help ask. Email me get on my facebook or join my group and yell through messenger. I am there for you.
#12 Stop Focusing on the Scale
I know I have a problem with this and you probably do to the scale is not dropping and you think you are not making progress. This is one of the things people do wrong when doing keto. But take a look at yourself in the mirror. Do a before picture wait a week and take another one. You will see the difference especially if there have been no slip-ups. Either in your face or the way our clothes fit. Those are no small victories. The scale is not how we should be measuring our success. Because it lies.
Really I have dropped pant sizes before I dropped pounds. It may be because I am active in my life and I have been more active since starting keto. I have more energy and I have built muscle which weighs more than fat. Don’t give up because your scale is lying to you.
#13 Last One for Now – Do Your Research
I’ve been researching Keto and Low carb for 18+ years now. Since my daughter was two. I have learned a thing or two. But I will not proclaim myself as an expert. I just know from my own experience.
But read a book, watch YouTube Videos. Read the blogs. Learn how to do Keto Right. I can tell you not everyone in every Keto group is going to give you good advice. I read everything I can get my hands on to continue on this Keto Journey. And you should too. That is why I would never recommend something that won’t help you and I won’t try and sell you the snake juice to help you lose weight. I only recommend things that have helped me in my health and my weight loss. Don’t do these things people do wrong when doing Keto.
Every product is independently selected by me. If you buy something through our links, I may earn an affiliate commission.
How does what you eat affect your depression? Okay, I am going to be brutally honest here. I have been eating like total and utter crap lately. So much has changed in my life over the last 2 months. I got my new job, and school has started for my kids and I am struggling with it all. Having to change my thought path is the hardest.
And with changing that thought path I became overwhelmed. I know getting my new job was a good thing for my family. But I didn’t want to work for an outside company. I wanted to grow my own business and taking the job took time away from that. And caused me to stress eat. Yep, I said it, I stressed ate. Which included all the things that make me feel miserable. Because what you eat can affect your depression.
So what foods affect my depression? The foods that are an absolute no go for me are grains, foods high in refined sugar. And they are also my go-to when I am stressed. Even though I know they cause me a lot of pain. But I caught myself and limited myself. Even though I did limit those foods I still suffered the consequences of my eating. My hands and feet are stiff and sore. I feel bloated and my depression got the best of me yesterday.
I woke up angry and felt alone. You are probably asking why is a Keto or Low Carb blogger telling you about a slip-up? Simple, it is easy to preach about sticking to your guns and following a diet strictly but you know what that isn’t me. I am human I’m not a machine. I make mistakes and I want you to know that I understand when you do too.
Messing up – And My Depression and the Food
I’ve noticed over the years that if I eat certain foods, I become that “woe is me girl”. And that is what happened yesterday. I woke up sad, mad, aggravated and discouraged and crying. I felt alone in my world. Like no one cared about my goals or dreams. Which is so far from the truth. My family supports me in all of my endeavors.
But even more than that I felt like I didn’t have any friends. I looked online, and no one, I looked at my cell phone again no one. But it wasn’t them. It was me. They have texted me over the last month and I didn’t have time for them. I haven’t posted online in a while or responded to messages that I have received. So again me.
I made excuses to everyone over the last month that I didn’t have time to do this or that because of work or my many other things. But in reality, I was sitting on my couch stuffing my face because I wasn’t happy. I was upset and depressed and most of all ashamed of the way I had been eating. I wasn’t this Keto Guru I was proclaiming to be to all of them and they would know.
But more than what I was eating was causing my depression
The way I started eating is what caused me to be unhappy. The foods that I have restricted with Keto are the foods that cause inflammation in my body. I know this I did a whole article on it called Keto & Depression which explains what you eat affects your depression. I think I knew it last week when I wrote the article about the 30-day challenge. So today is my first day of that challenge.
So far so good. I have stayed on track. And by this time next month, I should be my old self. No more self-doubt. Because I do know what the Keto Lifestyle has done for me. It has transformed me into a new person. I know that I can get my web-design company off the ground. I am good at it, I have my first three clients already booked. How, my friends, the ones that I thought were not there for me.
You Come Into This World Alone and you Leave it Alone.
This is a saying that kept popping into my head over the last month or so. And the more I thought about it the more I knew it wasn’t correct. I know many of you may argue that. But hear me out.
When you are born, you are born with your mother right there. Even if she gave you up for adoption, she still had you, and she was still there. You weren’t alone. There were also doctors and staff on hand in many cases. I know this isn’t true in all cases but I know it was mine. My mom and my whole family were there for my birth.
My family has been there for every struggle. Even when I was going through all the testing I went through for my pain. They were there. My friends had my back and my family held my hands. I didn’t do it on my own even my birth I didn’t do it on my own – to tell you the truth my mom did most of the work.
As for my eating, that I did alone, my husband and my kids all told me that I shouldn’t be eating the things I did, they knew it would make me feel bad, but I made the choice, but on the flip side they are right there for me when I told them I needed their help to take control back and feel better again.
You are not alone
I am not alone in this journey and neither are you. If you don’t have the support of your family and friends you do have it from me. I will help you in any way that I can. You can hit me up on my facebook page, you can email, you can come over to the group and ask questions, I am here for you.
Depression sucks and feeling alone sucks even more. Foods cause my depression, foods cause my pain in my body, foods cause me to gain weight and feel bad about myself. But I am the one making the choice to eat those foods. Knowing full well what they do to me.
Alone but not Alone
Now, I know many people die alone, but think about this – I read obituaries, I know that is kind of dark, but it was actually my job at one time to look at all of them when I was a paralegal for an estate planning and probate attorney and I still do it to this day. We would read them to see if any of our estate clients passed and then we would contact the families and send out flowers during their time of grieving to let them know they were in our thoughts and not alone.
But the more I read the more I realized even then that families still came together for each other. And the person that passed was not alone. So many of the articles said they were surrounded by their families and friends in the end, and others said they passed peacefully in their sleep. Even then they were not alone, they were in the thoughts of their loved ones and their friends.
Don’t get me wrong I hear of the horrors of the world and how people do die alone. But from this day forward I am going to think about my life and about those around me, those in my own circle and let them all know that they may be alone in their homes, alone in their thoughts, but that they are never truly alone because I am there for them. Just like I am there for you.
My Goal of this Blog
My goal with this blog is not selling you things, I do promote things here that I truly believe in and I do make a commission on some. But my goal is to educate you and help you be the best you that you can be. I know how it feels to feel alone on this journey, but I want you to know that you are not. I am here to help and I will answer any and all questions.
And the reason behind this post is to let you know that food does have a lot to do with depression. Whether it be the way certain foods can affect your body and cause inflammation and chemical reactions in your body that increase depression and the way you can fix it or at least make it better.
But even more is that I mess up, I go off Keto, I am not perfect and you don’t have to be either. Depression is a serious thing, it makes your head go to a very dark place and I myself don’t like that place. And if making certain tweaks to my diet can help that I will do it.
So as for the thirty-day challenge, I am starting it today. Pick your program. I am doing Speed Keto this month because of their large support group, but you can choose the one you want to do. There is also KikStart Keto. You don’t even have to do a program just follow Strict Keto, but I do I highly recommend a program because they do give structure with no guessing or research. Remember what you eat can affect your depression, and getting just a little bit ahead of it can mean so much in the big picture.
Just take 30 days and see how you feel. Also, know that I have your back. I may not know you face to face, but I do understand the struggles of not feeling adequate, not knowing what I am doing wrong and then finding out that it is not me but the what I am eating that is affecting my depression and causing the chronic pain in my body.
So who is joining me – Comment below, come over and join the facebook group. And let’s do this together because there is no need to be alone.
Your health needs you to take control. I know you all know that. But I’m telling you that because that is the issue I had. I kept on having all these aches and pains. But it took me forever to take control. And even to this day, I lose it.
I’ve been struggling with my Keto Journey lately. One reason is because of the new job I started a little while. If you are on my email list you might have heard that I got a new job. It isn’t stressful, but I am no longer at home and I am having a difficult time find food around where I am working that keeps me on track.
So instead of eating, I have been doing my intermittent fasting. That is all well in good, but it really isn’t something that works for me everyday.
So How can I Take Back Control of My Health
I’ve been thinking long and hard about this. I have decided to do Speed Keto again. I had so much success with it and it also has me meal prepping. I will be starting this on the 20th. I am going to do a Keto Costco run and buy everything I need for my first two weeks. It is a thirty-day program to get me back on track. And to feeling good again.
30 Days to turn around my health again and get on track before the Holidays when it is the hardest. The sweets, all the foods with gluten in them. That is my downfall. I like pies, and I like all the delicious holiday dishes. But if I am on track I can make it through the holidays fine. Why because I will see progress again. And that will motivate me to stay strong.
So Why Do I Say take Control of My Health
Because over the last 6 weeks I have eaten food that has made my hands and joints started hurting again. My digestion is all off and I am not feeling well. My energy level is so low, it is even hard to type out this post.
I did it to myself and that sucks. I made excuses as to the reason why I was doing this. That I had felt better and that what would just one little bite do. I know I said in last week’s post that it is alright to fall off. And it is.
But would you eat eggs if you were allergic? Would you drink milk if you were going to make you sick? You wouldn’t eat or feed peanuts to a person with allergies to them. No. You wouldn’t.
Why do we eat foods that make us feel sick? Because we don’t have a life-threatening allergy to them. But it reality after much thought, it may not be a severe allergy like peanut allergies, but your body does not want those foods. It is literally telling you that. By the inflammation, by the lethargic feeling, you get when you eat it, by the weight gain.
So I say take control of my health because nobody but me can do that. I can control what I put into my body. I know the foods that make me hurt and cause me to gain weight. Those are the foods that I will not be eating.
Why use Speed Keto to Take Control
The reason why I am going to use Speed Keto is simple. It is a laid out plan that I can follow. I know I have KikStart as my own program I designed. But I want the accountability and the community that comes with Speed Keto.
See I know how to do Keto. I know how to track my macros, what foods are accepted and what foods are not. I know how to cook Keto. It is simple and the information is all online for you to find. But Speed Keto and KikStart Keto have the menu you follow. Cookbook, and daily schedule for you to follow.
They are both structured to get the best results in a short amount of time. But best of all you can meal prep a week in advance and you don’t have to decide what to eat what night or day. You don’t have to figure it out. And that is what I need right now. I need more structure.
But why not my own program – Simple the community of Speed Keto there are over 29K people in that group. They are strict and they call you out on your excuses. But they are also helpful and motivating.
Also, I am going to do mine the next month, after Thanksgiving. Variety is the key to my success but also the support.
My Challenge to YOU – To Take Control of Your Health
So here is my challenge to you. Make the end of 2019 your best yet and take control of your health. Join me on the 20th and get your Speed Keto Program, it comes with a 30 day money-back guarantee, but even more that it comes with a group who will support you, daily menu, recipes, a full cookbook with all the recipes, a weekly shopping list and the success of people who have done it.
These are only three examples of the Speed Keto Family. And I love it. So many amazing examples of people who followed the meal plan and won on their Keto Journey. This a program I truly believe in and they are an inspiration to me and my goals.
I know many people will say this is a scam that you don’t have to pay for Keto. In reality, you don’t have to pay for any diet. You just research it and do it. Atkins, Paleo, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, all of them. But millions of people every day are buying pills, miracle shakes in a bottle just to lose weight. This isn’t that. It is a program that you spend $39 on, it comes with the cookbook, which I know is worth the $39 itself, but it also comes with a laid-out 30-day menu for you to follow, a support group, shopping list. And you only buy once and can do it for a lifetime. What other program does that? I know Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, and a lot of the other ones I’ve tried and failed at — cost that and more a month.
So what do you have to lose but weight?
Who wants to join me on this challenge? If you do click any of the links in this post and we can get started. My first day will be October 21st. I will also be opening up a group page if you don’t want to be part of a huge group but want support just the same. It is called KIKASS KETO BABES. But you can be part of both.
So let’s do this and take control of our health and lets kick some Keto Ass. Share with a friend on Facebook or Pin this so they can take the challenge. And then come on over and join us on KikAss Keto Babes.
Why do you deserve the best you? Why Not?! Seriously, I am going to talk about this until I’m blue in the face. You deserve the best you because you are you. Not because you are a mom, not because you are a wife, not because you are someone’s daughter, sister or even someone’s best employee, but because you are you.
I’ve just finished up one of the best books I have read in a while. It wasn’t Keto related in any way, shape or form. There was nothing to do with what you should and shouldn’t eat. It was all about being you and doing what’s best for you. And why because you deserve it.
Why We as Women Deserve to Give Ourselves the Best
So, why do I think that we need to do and give ourselves the best? Because we as women do so much for so many. We do for everyone around us, rarely asking for anything in return, we fix dinner and clean up afterward. Other things that I know I do – the laundry, mend boo-boos and comfort our husbands or significant others when they have had a bad day. And most of the time we forget about ourselves. Really, tell me when you did something for yourself. Leave it in the comments below.
But why do we deserve the best? Aren’t all those things that we are supposed to be doing. Also, aren’t we suppose to take care of the children, make our SO life better, take care of the house and work too? Who said that is all our responsibility. Especially, when we also go to work all day. Why don’t we get to just come home and relax, kick back and watch TV after work or even on the weekend?
I’ll tell you why? Because we have been told all our lives that we are women and that is our jobs. But, think about it when that was a woman’s job that was the only job she had. She didn’t go out in the working world and have a full-time job. She stayed home and took care of the kids and the house and didn’t even really take care of the finances.
But in this day and age, we do go to work it is almost impossible to live these days without having a two salary household. We now split up the household bills, we work 40 hours a week and still do it all in the house.
I know many of you may have husbands that help out around the house. And OMG that is great. But why do we feel guilty about not being able to do it all?
Give Yourself a Break
We are not back in the days where we are responsible for just the house and the family. We’re corporate women, we are working women, entrepreneurs, we are more than housewives and moms. We deserve to be treated as more.
When I first got together with my husband, I was a wild 23-year-old, very independent GIRL. I was strong-willed, I didn’t want anyone telling me what I could or couldn’t do. I came from a very strict religious household and I moved out when I was 16 because I was done with that. I’d already been married and divorced by the time I was 21. I met my now-husband at 23 and I thought I knew exactly what I wanted.
I’d finished my paralegal schooling school and I was going to go back to get my law degree. (Never Happened) I fell in love. That is a good thing. Seriously, it is. But I lost myself in trying to be exactly what I thought my man wanted.
I kept the house we moved into spotless, because that is what my mom did, and his ex-wife also did. I cooked him dinner every night after work, while he relaxed on the couch watching TV. I did his laundry. I took care of everything. Including paying the bills. I would go without because I wanted to make him happy.
But was I Happy!
But guess what — I wasn’t happy. I had given up on my dreams. I started putting on weight because I wasn’t doing the things I loved to do like camping, hiking, and dancing. I cooked foods that I had never eaten before to make him happy and see my worth. I never took the time to take care of myself and take a break. Because I was being someone I thought he wanted me to be.
Women’s work is in the house – A man’s is outside
This is a funny one. My husband told me when we first started dating that his dad always told him that a woman’s work is in the house when it came to household chores, and the man did the work on the outside.
So that’s where that idea came from in my young little head. But we lived in an apartment, so there was no outside work for him to do. Except take out the garbage. We worked at the same job. I was an office manager and he was a shop manager. But, I also worked on the shop floor a lot. So I worked just as hard. I would work just as long as him, but I would come home and do everything for our house and not take care of myself.
Then we had children and I still did the same. With the added thing of taking care of our kids, and being the mother I thought I needed to be. I lost myself, I lost my code, that women were equal in this world now. That they don’t have to be the only one taking care of things and they need to take time out and take care of themselves. My husband does. He works out, takes naps, and relaxes. Why shouldn’t I!
Does he expect me to do everything? NO! But, I never asked for help –I resented him just the same. Not his fault, but mine.
But Why? Because I felt like if I couldn’t’ do it all I was failing as a woman. Even if it meant my health both physically and emotionally. In reality, I was failing but not as a woman I was failing myself as a person. I was not taking care of myself. I wasn’t being my best self.
I hated cooking, I was not a domestic woman, I am and will always be an adventurer. I love being active. I love eating whole foods, not classic home cooking that puts meat on your bones. I’m a salad and chicken girl. I love my Keto Lifestyle because Keto Foods are the ones that I have always loved. Maybe, it was because my body knew what is best for me.
After, realizing what I needed I began to get bitchy and forcing change in my house. I started my own business and became the woman I thought I wanted to be. A business owner and hard ass. I got on my husband all the time about helping me out in the house. Since he wasn’t working. But how I did it was mean. I will admit it. I was a complete and total bitch.
I wasn’t the woman he met or the woman I became that he married. I was someone totally different. I expected him to do everything all at once. But the thing is he wasn’t working not because he didn’t want to but because he had gotten hurt at work. I was doing the same thing to him that I thought he had done to me.
I Need to Find Balance
So here is the point of this post. I need to find balance, I am a workaholic, I am kind of controlling, and Anal as my husband puts it. Not in a bad way, but I have my way of doing things, one of the reasons he has a hard time helping me around the house. I have certain things I want a certain way.
Example: He would load the dishwasher and I would go behind him and re-arrange it. My way! The same with folding clothes. I made him feel that he wasn’t doing it right and he just quit doing it. I had to learn to let him do it his way even if it wasn’t my way. Both ways got the job done so why does it matter.
Us women are part of our own problems. We can’t let go and let people help us easily. We feel like we are failing if we do. We as women need to stop that. We won’t succeed in anything if we keep doing that. Don’t apologize, don’t make excuses to why you can’t do something or didn’t get something done or we ask for help. You don’t need too.
I hear women every day say, “I am sorry, but I can’t…” ” I am sorry, can you help me with…” Why are you sorry?! Just say, “I can’t!” “I need help…” Both are Complete sentences! You don’t need to give a reason, you don’t have to apologize. You are not failing, you are doing you. Remember, You Deserve the Best.
How does this apply to doing Keto, well, in short, we don’t have to apologize to or explain to anyone why we are doing Keto, there is no need to justify it to anyone. We are doing it to be a better version of ourselves. Why? Because you deserve the best you. We are doing it to be healthier and happier. Or whatever your reason is. But it has to be a reason all your own. Not to make your SO happy, not so that you can look better for someone else, not even to be able to do more with your children.
Do it for your own selfish reasons. Seriously, being selfish is not wrong. We need to be selfish once in a while. Do it because you want to fit into that dress you saw in the store the other day. Do it because you want to have more energy to go out dancing with your girlfriends. But do it for you. Again, Why? Because you deserve the best.
Also, be selfish when it comes to your sleep, your alone time, your relaxation. Why? Because you deserve the best you. You deserve it just as much as your children and your husband. Remember you are one person and you can’t do it all. And really you shouldn’t even try.
Let the laundry sit in a basket, let the dishes sit in the sink. It will be there when you are ready to do it or ask your husband or kids to do it. You are not in this world alone, you are not living for everyone else. You are living for you and when you are healthier and happier the people around you are too.
Why this post? Because of this book! You Deserve the Best
Girl, Stop Apologizing! by Rachel Hollis This book made me think. It made me put things into perspective. I deserve the best and so do you. I am not one to back down, but I feel I must do everything because I am woman hear me roar.
No really, I felt like I had failed as a mother, because I didn’t go to PTA Meetings every school function, failed as a housewife because I didn’t keep a spotless house, failed as a wife because I didn’t do everything for my husband, but in reality the only person I was failing was myself. And this book reaffirmed that.
I don’t have to be superwoman and do everything. I can ask for the help I need and I can pursue my own goals and not feel guilty about it. Whether it be writing this blog and sharing my knowledge with you. Or starting my own web design and education company that will empower women to know they can do anything they set their minds too. Yes, that is happening. Soon and I will share it here also when it goes live.
We don’t have to rely on the opinion of others to succeed. We just need to be true to ourselves and focus on our happiness and in turn that will shine outward and those who love and respect you will love you more for that.
You are the foundation of the family. And I think that is where the saying happy wife happy life came about. It is not negative. But when mom and wife are happy it will show through their family. There is more balance. So — you do you girl –and show your family that happiness is when you are true to yourself.
Some Articles you may like
Some articles that I love that are in this blog are Top 10 Mistakes Keto Dieters Make. Why because it is just a quick how-to-fix what you may be doing wrong along your journey that has caused you to stall out with your goal.
Also, I cheated post. You don’t need to feel guilty and this is the point I am trying to make in this post you are on right now, but also in that post. You may like also the Guilty Post. No more apologizing girl. You need to do this for you and stop apologizing to even yourself. Why? Because you Deserve The BEST.
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