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Why do you deserve the best you? Why Not?! Seriously, I am going to talk about this until I’m blue in the face. You deserve the best you because you are you. Not because you are a mom, not because you are a wife, not because you are someone’s daughter, sister or even someone’s best employee, but because you are you.
I’ve just finished up one of the best books I have read in a while. It wasn’t Keto related in any way, shape or form. There was nothing to do with what you should and shouldn’t eat. It was all about being you and doing what’s best for you. And why because you deserve it.
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Why We as Women Deserve to Give Ourselves the Best
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So, why do I think that we need to do and give ourselves the best? Because we as women do so much for so many. We do for everyone around us, rarely asking for anything in return, we fix dinner and clean up afterward. Other things that I know I do – the laundry, mend boo-boos and comfort our husbands or significant others when they have had a bad day. And most of the time we forget about ourselves. Really, tell me when you did something for yourself. Leave it in the comments below.
But why do we deserve the best? Aren’t all those things that we are supposed to be doing. Also, aren’t we suppose to take care of the children, make our SO life better, take care of the house and work too? Who said that is all our responsibility. Especially, when we also go to work all day. Why don’t we get to just come home and relax, kick back and watch TV after work or even on the weekend?
I’ll tell you why? Because we have been told all our lives that we are women and that is our jobs. But, think about it when that was a woman’s job that was the only job she had. She didn’t go out in the working world and have a full-time job. She stayed home and took care of the kids and the house and didn’t even really take care of the finances.
But in this day and age, we do go to work it is almost impossible to live these days without having a two salary household. We now split up the household bills, we work 40 hours a week and still do it all in the house.
I know many of you may have husbands that help out around the house. And OMG that is great. But why do we feel guilty about not being able to do it all?
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Give Yourself a Break
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We are not back in the days where we are responsible for just the house and the family. We’re corporate women, we are working women, entrepreneurs, we are more than housewives and moms. We deserve to be treated as more.
When I first got together with my husband, I was a wild 23-year-old, very independent GIRL. I was strong-willed, I didn’t want anyone telling me what I could or couldn’t do. I came from a very strict religious household and I moved out when I was 16 because I was done with that. I’d already been married and divorced by the time I was 21. I met my now-husband at 23 and I thought I knew exactly what I wanted.
I’d finished my paralegal schooling school and I was going to go back to get my law degree. (Never Happened) I fell in love. That is a good thing. Seriously, it is. But I lost myself in trying to be exactly what I thought my man wanted.
I kept the house we moved into spotless, because that is what my mom did, and his ex-wife also did. I cooked him dinner every night after work, while he relaxed on the couch watching TV. I did his laundry. I took care of everything. Including paying the bills. I would go without because I wanted to make him happy.
But was I Happy!
But guess what — I wasn’t happy. I had given up on my dreams. I started putting on weight because I wasn’t doing the things I loved to do like camping, hiking, and dancing. I cooked foods that I had never eaten before to make him happy and see my worth. I never took the time to take care of myself and take a break. Because I was being someone I thought he wanted me to be.
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Women’s work is in the house – A man’s is outside
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This is a funny one. My husband told me when we first started dating that his dad always told him that a woman’s work is in the house when it came to household chores, and the man did the work on the outside.
So that’s where that idea came from in my young little head. But we lived in an apartment, so there was no outside work for him to do. Except take out the garbage. We worked at the same job. I was an office manager and he was a shop manager. But, I also worked on the shop floor a lot. So I worked just as hard. I would work just as long as him, but I would come home and do everything for our house and not take care of myself.
Then we had children and I still did the same. With the added thing of taking care of our kids, and being the mother I thought I needed to be. I lost myself, I lost my code, that women were equal in this world now. That they don’t have to be the only one taking care of things and they need to take time out and take care of themselves. My husband does. He works out, takes naps, and relaxes. Why shouldn’t I!
Does he expect me to do everything? NO! But, I never asked for help –I resented him just the same. Not his fault, but mine.
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But Why? Because I felt like if I couldn’t’ do it all I was failing as a woman. Even if it meant my health both physically and emotionally. In reality, I was failing but not as a woman I was failing myself as a person. I was not taking care of myself. I wasn’t being my best self.
I hated cooking, I was not a domestic woman, I am and will always be an adventurer. I love being active. I love eating whole foods, not classic home cooking that puts meat on your bones. I’m a salad and chicken girl. I love my Keto Lifestyle because Keto Foods are the ones that I have always loved. Maybe, it was because my body knew what is best for me.
After, realizing what I needed I began to get bitchy and forcing change in my house. I started my own business and became the woman I thought I wanted to be. A business owner and hard ass. I got on my husband all the time about helping me out in the house. Since he wasn’t working. But how I did it was mean. I will admit it. I was a complete and total bitch.
I wasn’t the woman he met or the woman I became that he married. I was someone totally different. I expected him to do everything all at once. But the thing is he wasn’t working not because he didn’t want to but because he had gotten hurt at work. I was doing the same thing to him that I thought he had done to me.
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I Need to Find Balance
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So here is the point of this post. I need to find balance, I am a workaholic, I am kind of controlling, and Anal as my husband puts it. Not in a bad way, but I have my way of doing things, one of the reasons he has a hard time helping me around the house. I have certain things I want a certain way.
Example: He would load the dishwasher and I would go behind him and re-arrange it. My way! The same with folding clothes. I made him feel that he wasn’t doing it right and he just quit doing it. I had to learn to let him do it his way even if it wasn’t my way. Both ways got the job done so why does it matter.
Us women are part of our own problems. We can’t let go and let people help us easily. We feel like we are failing if we do. We as women need to stop that. We won’t succeed in anything if we keep doing that. Don’t apologize, don’t make excuses to why you can’t do something or didn’t get something done or we ask for help. You don’t need too.
I hear women every day say, “I am sorry, but I can’t…” ” I am sorry, can you help me with…” Why are you sorry?! Just say, “I can’t!” “I need help…” Both are Complete sentences! You don’t need to give a reason, you don’t have to apologize. You are not failing, you are doing you. Remember, You Deserve the Best.
How does this apply to doing Keto, well, in short, we don’t have to apologize to or explain to anyone why we are doing Keto, there is no need to justify it to anyone. We are doing it to be a better version of ourselves. Why? Because you deserve the best you. We are doing it to be healthier and happier. Or whatever your reason is. But it has to be a reason all your own. Not to make your SO happy, not so that you can look better for someone else, not even to be able to do more with your children.
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Do it for your own selfish reasons. Seriously, being selfish is not wrong. We need to be selfish once in a while. Do it because you want to fit into that dress you saw in the store the other day. Do it because you want to have more energy to go out dancing with your girlfriends. But do it for you. Again, Why? Because you deserve the best.
Also, be selfish when it comes to your sleep, your alone time, your relaxation. Why? Because you deserve the best you. You deserve it just as much as your children and your husband. Remember you are one person and you can’t do it all. And really you shouldn’t even try.
Let the laundry sit in a basket, let the dishes sit in the sink. It will be there when you are ready to do it or ask your husband or kids to do it. You are not in this world alone, you are not living for everyone else. You are living for you and when you are healthier and happier the people around you are too.
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Why this post? Because of this book! You Deserve the Best
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Girl, Stop Apologizing! by Rachel Hollis This book made me think. It made me put things into perspective. I deserve the best and so do you. I am not one to back down, but I feel I must do everything because I am woman hear me roar.
No really, I felt like I had failed as a mother, because I didn’t go to PTA Meetings every school function, failed as a housewife because I didn’t keep a spotless house, failed as a wife because I didn’t do everything for my husband, but in reality the only person I was failing was myself. And this book reaffirmed that.
I don’t have to be superwoman and do everything. I can ask for the help I need and I can pursue my own goals and not feel guilty about it. Whether it be writing this blog and sharing my knowledge with you. Or starting my own web design and education company that will empower women to know they can do anything they set their minds too. Yes, that is happening. Soon and I will share it here also when it goes live.
We don’t have to rely on the opinion of others to succeed. We just need to be true to ourselves and focus on our happiness and in turn that will shine outward and those who love and respect you will love you more for that.
You are the foundation of the family. And I think that is where the saying happy wife happy life came about. It is not negative. But when mom and wife are happy it will show through their family. There is more balance. So — you do you girl –and show your family that happiness is when you are true to yourself.
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Some Articles you may like
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Some articles that I love that are in this blog are Top 10 Mistakes Keto Dieters Make. Why because it is just a quick how-to-fix what you may be doing wrong along your journey that has caused you to stall out with your goal.
Also, I cheated post. You don’t need to feel guilty and this is the point I am trying to make in this post you are on right now, but also in that post. You may like also the Guilty Post. No more apologizing girl. You need to do this for you and stop apologizing to even yourself. Why? Because you Deserve The BEST.